


Happy Mother's Day (Even Though Technically....)

by Baamon5evr



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Rhodey and Pepper are heroes for dealing with Tony, Tony can be really convoluted sometimes, Tony is a mad scientist, background use of Mother's Day, de-aged avengers, everyone loves pepper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 02:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4461647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baamon5evr/pseuds/Baamon5evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Rhodey, explain please? Please don't tell me there is an innocent child somewhere in this tower."<br/>"Not a child, children. The Avengers. Tony had the bright idea to turn them into six year olds." Pepper stared hoping this was a joke but Tony's sheepish shuffling and Rhodey's annoyed exasperation spoke volumes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Mother's Day (Even Though Technically....)

Pepper would like to think that after cleaning up his many messes, after falling however many stories to her apparent death, after living with extremis and old girlfriends coming out of the woodwork and the constant fear he would die on one mission or other, Pepper would like to think that she deserved a break from impending doom and things exploding in the basement. Tony said he would slow down but he invited the new Avengers over all the time. It wasn't a huge deal. She liked them, really she did. It was when Tony's mad science was thrown into the mix that things got hairy.

Previously she had trusted Bruce to temper Tony but apparently, as Ultron had proven, Bruce had been corrupted. Then again perhaps she shouldn't have expected scientific curiosity not to win out. Either way Bruce was MIA, Thor was off-world and Pepper wouldn't let Jane set foot in the lab for fear of what the two would concoct. She had taken every precaution to keep Tony's curiosity focused on something non-threatening to the structural integrity of lower Manhattan (they didn't need a repeat of Seoul and Johannesburg). She and Vision had worked out an arrangement. Though he wasn't JARVIS he was close enough so she felt comfortable and he knew her almost too well. They set it up so Vision periodically revealed a new power or aspect that would grab Tony's undivided attention and it had worked so naturally that wouldn't last.

Pepper was just getting in after a long phone conference with the leaders of Johannesburg and the foundation meant to sponsor payment for all the damages done during Tony and Bruce's fight. Apparently the foundation was reluctant to cover the full expenses and Pepper had had to mediate between them. In short, she was exhausted so of course when she walked into her and Tony's room he was there arguing with Rhodey.

"You have done some crazy things and you have done some stupid things but this really takes the cake."

"Ehh... I'm sure I've done worse. Besides they agreed to help."

"Something tells me you didn't tell them about this part. How the hell are you going to fix this?"

"Calm down, Snickerdoodle. It was only meant to last today until after Pep got her present." Pepper sighed, alerting the men to her presence. She almost walked back out, not really wanting to know what Tony had done. Something told her it wasn't as innocuous as the giant pink bunny.

"Pepper! You're home, you're here and not working like you usually are. I'm starting to think we switched roles here, you're definitely the workaholic nowadays--"

"Just tell her, Tony." Pepper looked at him expectantly with her hands on her hips.

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" She asked Rhodey.

"I'd say 6 times out of 10 we don't like what Tony does."

"Six?"

"Nine."

"Still here." Tony commented.

"We know." Rhodey and Pepper answered.

"Speak, Tony." She ordered.

"So you know how your birthday didn't go so well--"

"You mean you forgetting it again?"

"And then Christmas was a bust."

"Understatement of the century." Rhodey mumbled.

"Your Valentine's Day present didn't go over so well."

"He actually remembered?" Rhodey asked Pepper incredulously.

"Strawberries everywhere." She deadpanned.

"Typical."

"Mother's day is the next holiday of worth."

"What does that have to do with me? I'm not a mother."

"I know, so I figured I'd just... create kids for you."

"... what?"

"I... well... I..."

"Rhodey, explain please? Please don't tell me there is an innocent child somewhere in this tower."

"Not a child, children. The Avengers. Tony had the bright idea to turn them into six year olds." Pepper stared hoping this was a joke but Tony's sheepish shuffling and Rhodey's annoyed exasperation spoke volumes.

"Oh my god, I can feel the migraine coming on."

"Well, you always said the Avengers were like kids."

" _Like_ kids, Tony! Not actual kids! How are they supposed to do missions this way?! How are they going to--" Pepper closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

"Where are they?"

"Common room." Tony answered. Pepper began to strut from the room, her heels clicking against the floor with Tony and Rhodey right behind her.

"Few things you should know. This will wear off by tomorrow. Thankfully Wanda doesn't have her powers but she's been asking about her brother a lot. Bucky's prosthetic arm didn't make the switch so he's been hiding mostly. Don't be alarmed if he disappears. Helen keeps trying to perform tests on Vision. I think Maria is trying to get Sam and Steve to help her escape the common room and Natasha is doing... whatever it is Natasha does. They all think you're their mother so they'll listen to you. That's something right?" Pepper gave him a little glare before walking into the common room.

The room had seemingly been converted into a playroom for the newly made children and they were fully utilizing it. A girl with tan skin and full bangs who Pepper identified as Maria was holding a large paper in her hands with what seemed to be schematics of the room drawn in crayon and she was bossing a little boy with dark brown skin and a smile on his face -- Sam-- around to look for supplies so she could make her escape. Sam went about grabbing the things Maria wanted and put them in his pail before dragging along a small blonde haired boy behind him.

_Steve?_ She thought to herself.

He seemed a lot smaller than the other children and was breathing strangely, kind of like her asthmatic sister did. Before she could react, a little boy with messy brown hair and bright blue eyes appeared next to Steve, pressed an asthma pump in his hand and then scurried away. She immediately identified him as Bucky, the missing arm not hurting her conclusion at all. He seemed to be desperately trying to hide his left side which Natasha, who was wearing a pink leotard and tutu for some reason, and Wanda helped him with by pushing him into a mass of pillows they were fussing over and proceeding to build a fort around him. Lastly, little Helen (who was wearing one of Tony's button downs with a crayon name tag taped on it) was doing “experiments” with playdoh thanks to the help of her assistant, Vision, who hovered just off the ground holding multiple balls of the dough in his arms.

Pepper wasn’t even sure where to start but that decision was taken from her as Tony cleared his throat. All the children turned and simultaneously glared at Tony. Maybe a part of them did remember and wished to make his life a living hell until it wore off, she didn’t mind.

“Hey, I brought you an offering.” Pepper rolled her eyes and was about to say something when all the kids began shouting at once.

“Mom!”

“Mommy!” She stared wide-eyed as the eight children bum-rushed her and began hugging at her legs. Vision floated up into her arms and the children on the ground were clamoring to lock their arms around her.

“Okay… okay… hey, you guys. Hey, let’s settle down now.” Pepper was a little surprised when the children calmed down and backed off of her but still crowded around her smiling, she couldn’t help but smile back even as she adjusted Vision in her arms.

“Is everyone okay?”

“Daddy hasn’t fed us.” Maria said, glaring at Tony. He paled at bit at the daddy part while Rhodey snickered to himself in the corner.

“He won’t tell me where Pietro is.” Wanda said.

“He stuck us in this room and he’s been ignoring us.” Helen added. Pepper rose an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know how to care for children.”

“They’re human, generally humans have to eat to survive.”

“Not Vision, he’ll be good without food.” He retorted.

“I like apple juice.” Vision commented.

“You know what, good idea Vis. Who wants apple juice?” All the kids raised their hands and began chorusing ‘me’.

“We’ll get some apple juice and some sandwiches, maybe watch an hour of tv before we take a nap.” Pepper mapped out, leading the children to the kitchen. Sam ran back and grabbed a stack of construction paper before he ran after the group, grabbing Rhodey’s hand on the way.

Pepper and Rhodey set about making the kids sandwiches with apple slices and apple juice while they amused themselves with DUM-E and Butterfingers’ presence. Pepper was mildly surprised at how well behaved they were acting and said so.

“It’s you. You straightened them out even when they’re adults, trust me. No one here wants to disappoint Pepper Potts.” Pepper smiled a bit to herself, she liked to believe that. They dished the food out and as they got to Sam he proudly brandished the papers to her.

“We made these for you. Happy Mother’s day.”

“Happy Mother’s day!!”

“Thank you.” Pepper didn’t bother arguing that she wasn’t their mother, wasn’t a mother period. She’d just wait for this thing to wear off and soon enough it’d just be another crazy story. She flipped through the papers as the children ate.

Sam had drawn a picture of them feeding birds in a park together.

Wanda made a picture of Pepper wrapping ribbons in her hair.

Maria’s picture featured Tony tied up in the background while Pepper painted her toe nails in the forefront.

Steve drew an elaborate drawing of the two of them riding the Cyclone at Coney Island.

Bucky drew a picture of her standing in front of him protectively.

Natasha drew Pepper tying the ribbons of ballets slippers on her feet.

Helen drew the two of them standing over beakers and cylinders in a lab, joyfully watching a plume of smoke rise from their experiment.

Vision simply drew a picture of her holding him close to her chest.

She looked up at the children with a smile. She didn’t think she’d ever have children of her own but she couldn’t deny that just this small gesture warmed her heart despite the craziness of the situation.

She spent most of the day with them. Wanda shyly came to her with a hair brush and Pepper brushed and styled her hair before painting her nails for her. She and Sam went up on the roof and took care of the pigeons in the cages he’d set up. She did her best to remember her few childhood classes when Natasha entreated her to dance ballet with her. Helen and Bucky sat pressed to her chest and listened to her reading books to them. Maria grabbed a toy gun and they played cops and robbers in the living room, with Tony tied up on the couch to her pleasure. She took Steve to her art room where they made a simple flower pot together and later on in the night she and Vision took turns looking through his telescope together. By the end of the night, after dinner, a bath and some ice cream they were all tuckered out and ended up collapsing on the couch piled up around Tony who looked half terrified and half asleep. It was an adorable sight and she couldn’t help the tilt of her mouth.

“Is that a smile? Did I do good?” Tony said quietly as not to disturb them. Let sleeping lions lie and all that.

“This is one stupidest things you’ve ever done, you are not getting off easily.”

“Yup, figured that much.”

“But, I have to admit they are cute.”

“Good for a trail run, I figured.” Pepper rose her eyebrow at him.

“You thinking what I’m thinking, Potts?”

“You couldn’t even remember to feed them.”

“In all fairness I barely remember to feed myself most times without you and Rhodey to remind me.”

“Did you turn the Avengers into children as a veiled, convoluted way to suggest we have children because A: that’s insane and it risked international security, B: that is probably up there with that ridiculous Christmas rabbit, and C: that’s a conversation we’d definitely have as grown adults, no shenanigans involved.”

“You’re not saying ‘no’.” Tony pointed.

“No, I am not. I am willing to listen to your case.” Tony shifted a bit but the children just piled themselves back on him, keeping him down. He rolled his eyes before laying back.

“So remember that kid I told you about when we were dealing with the whole Christmas debacle?”

“Harley Keener. What about him?”

“So I’ve been keeping an eye on him and his sister and well their mother died a couple months ago, cancer. They’re staying with an aunt but she’s not exactly qualified to care for them. CPS is about to step in and I figured, you know, maybe we could step in first.”

“You want to adopt them?”

“Not adopt… yet. I kinda owe the kid and I know I’ve been vehemently against children but you know what, I’m not my father. I know that now, old man tells me that enough.” Tony said, adjusting Steve so he could breathe easier.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll make other arrangements for them but I just… I mean, Clint of all people has managed a wife and three kids and the guy keeps his dog on a diet of pizza. I think I can do better than that if I really tried.”

“You really want to help these kids.” Tony shrugged a bit.

“But I’m not willing to put you out for it.”

“Harley’s a sweet kid, I figured that out from the one time I met him. His sister’s shy, she won’t acclimate easily to new situations. They deserve stability, a home and we can give that to them but if we’re doing this, it’s a trail run. And we’re going to have to change the ground rules here. No dangerous Avengers business around them, no giving out our addresses to terrorist organizations and no giant rabbits blocking the walkways.”

“Got it. Square deal.” Tony smiled brightly at her and Pepper rolled her eyes before leaning down and kissing his lips.

“I’m going to shower.” She walked out and returned ten minutes later to see Tony had fallen asleep and once he was out, he was out. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or not, wasn’t sure if they were parental material. But she did know she enjoyed the warmth of the children-not-really-children loving her unconditionally and calling her ‘mom’ and looking up to her.

Still though, Tony was not getting off easily. She carefully moved Steve and Bucky to his chest so that when they reverted to their adult selves they’d be on top of Tony.

_Let that greet him in the morning, see how he feels._

His muffled shouts the next day were definitely worth it.


End file.
